Tips - Read On Only If You Attend Church

KEVIN WRITES: For several years before Big Table, I worked both as a restaurant critic and a pastor, and the fastest way to end any conversation with people working in the restaurant industry was to mention my second job.  It took me a while to figure out what had gone wrong in those conversations, but I finally did, with the help of Annie, a waitress who grew up in the same Montana church I did.

"I beg not to work Sunday shifts," she confessed.  "We all do."

A friend this morning sent me a link to a blog post that suggests that Annie's experience is far from the exception.  It just may be that the people most easily identifed as Christians are often the stingiest tippers on the planet.  Here is a quote from the larger post entitled The Bait and Switch of Contemporary Christianity:

"The point is that one can fill a life full of spiritual activities without ever, actually, trying to become a more decent human being. Much of this activity can actually distract one from becoming a more decent human being. In fact, some of these activities make you worse, interpersonally speaking. Many churches are jerk factories.  

Take, for example, how Christians tip and behave in restaurants. If you have ever worked in the restaurant industry you know the reputation of the Sunday morning lunch crowd. Millions of Christians go to lunch after church on Sundays and their behavior is abysmal. The single most damaging phenomenon to the witness of Christianity in America today is the collective behavior of the Sunday morning lunch crowd. Never has a more well-dressed, entitled, dismissive, haughty or cheap collection of Christians been seen on the face of the earth.  

I exaggerate of course. But I hope you see my point. Rather than pouring our efforts into two hours of worship, bible study and Christian fellowship on Sunday why don't we just take a moment and a few extra bucks to act like a decent human being when we go to lunch afterwards? Just think about it. What if the entire restaurant industry actually began to look forward to working Sunday lunch? If they said amongst themselves, "I love the church crowd. They are kind, patient and very generous. It's my favorite part of the week waiting on Christians." How might such a change affect the way the world sees us? Think about it. Just being a decent human being for one hour each Sunday and the world sees us in a whole new way.  

But it's not going to happen. Because behavior at lunch isn't considered to be "working on your relationship with God." Behavior at lunch isn't spiritual. Going to church, well, that is working on your relationship with God. But, as we all know, any jerk can sit in a pew. But you can't be a jerk if you take the time to treat your waitress as if she were your friend, daughter or mother."

The author, Richard Beck, is skeptical that this will ever change.  If you attend church and eat out, you can change that.  How about setting 20% as your standard tip and round up from there?  If you already tip generously, thanks.

By the way, the cartoon at the top is a sketch I based on one commerically available by Elmer Parolini.  The credit for the line and the layout are his.

Comments

[Tammy]

How do you reconcile the fact that waitstaff in Washington state make minimum wage AND are tipped? In most states, they make below minimum wage because tips make up the difference. It seems like we're paying them way above and beyond when we tip. Don't get me wrong. I don't mind giving a decent tip when I've been given good service, but I recently read an article that said they're making $10-25 per hour. http://www.king5.com/news/politics/Proposed-bill-would-lower-minimum-wage-for-tipped-employees-138087688.html

I'm already paying a premium for meals in this state and already have to do without some restaurants I enjoy in other states because they won't come here due to the high minimum wage requirements. Why should I also tip a premium? I'm struggling to make ends meet too. I don't make $52,000 per year, which is what $25 per hour works out to be. It's hard for me to give them more when some of them are making a lot more than I do.

Just wondering.

[Big Table]

Thanks Tammy for the thoughtful comment.

I know of a few servers in high-end restaurants who do very well - and not just here in Washington where employers are required to pay minimum wage. Yet most of the servers I've talked with struggle to make ends meet. Many work multiple jobs just to get enough to cover rent.

Things are even worse in the kitchen where very few folks ever see tips.

If you struggle with the current cost/tipping structure here in Washington, but still want to be generous, check out our UNEXPECTED 20 site (www.unexpected20.com) hat invites people to find ways to surprise industry folks with $20 in a small gift envelope. A lot of folks who give them out find ways to give them not just to servers up front but to those in the back of the house as well.

[Dan]

This is not the first time this issue has been discussed:
http://adammclane.com/2009/12/02/christians-are-bad-tippers/
http://www.christianpost.com/news/are-christians-notoriously-bad-tippers-62913/
http://www.dailyfinance.com/2011/11/23/waiters-phony-10-tip-includes-religious-lesson/?icid=maing-grid7%7Chp-desktop%7Cdl3%7Csec1_lnk3%7C115167

[Shannon]

As a former Washington State server....I get your point, but in reality, I think you'd find that the majority of servers don't make $25 an hour consistently. For one, few work a whole 40 hours (which would invite requests for benefits like vacation and health insurance). For another, crowds come and go—a $25 hour can be followed by a $10 hour. Also, some of servers' hours take place outside of straight-up serving; for example, I spent two hours closing up the restaurant every night I served. Opening shift had the same two-hour duties in reverse. Living wage in eastern Washington (far different than minimum wage) is something like $11-12 an hour. When you average it all out....servers aren't that much different than any other low-paying job. It averages out to a much lower wage than you think, with variable hours across day and night, no insurance, no sick or vacation days.

And I agree with the main point of this article—as the sole Christian working at my restaurant, I cringed so often as I'd hear servers' commentary on their Sunday customers (especially those that had the self-righteous gall to leave a tract disguised as a tip). Not to mention the complete rudeness, the fighting families, the over-the-top entitlement issues. It really is the worst day of the week.

[Pat]

So, , is the assumption here that this Sunday afternoon crowd only tips bad after church? Perhaps they are bad tippers the rest of the week and are hidden by the masses and covered by those of us that skip church but get into generosity and respect for our fellow man. Is there a correlation here between being a church-goer and being a cheap-skate? Just askin the question?

[Big Table]

Pat... as you seem to suspect... my experience is that if you tip poorly after church, you'll tip poorly all week long. The same goes for generosity. The day has little to do with it; your attitude and perspective, everything to do with it. I've found incredibly generous people as well as some of the biggest cheap-skates in pews. What is horrific is when there is a massive disconnect between the language of grace and practical generosity.

I've certainly been guilty of it in the past and probably need to say like folks in recovery programs:

"Hi, I'm Kevin. A cheap-skate."

Even as I do everything I can to be truly generous.

[Jill]

I am so glad to hear this conversation! I both agree, and disagree. I do not find the attitude and difficulty of the Christian guest any different. The courtesy seems to be the same to me. It is the percentage of tip that is different. There are many Christians that tip just fine, and I am sure more than we know, because most of the time we don't even know who is who. There is a high percent of Christians that do tip low though. My thought is this, if you want to save money, just skip your beverage, and use that for your tip. Normally it works out fine. (about three dollars per person, at an average restaurant). I do have one request if you really think a low tip is fine for you to give- (as a Christian server) Don't let your server know you are a Believer. I would rather you go ahead and tip my friends and I low, and not have them connect the low tip with Christianity, than give them a sour taste toward Christians. Thank you, Jill

[MrManBear]

Great post Kevin. All the points I wanted to make in the comments, were already made. It is apparent that the already large disconnect between the general public and service staff is still growing. Legislation effects everyone, and the minimum wage going up actually hurt the service industry. Washington didn't want to be like Idaho and pay servers $4 or less per hour, but by raising the rate, they took away total hours. Any server will tell you that it is the hours spent on the floor that pays the bills. Not $25 an hour average for a three hour shift.